WELKONE TO THE PAGE DDEDIDCATED TO THE ANICENT WASY FO JAR`PO.. IF YOU DON OT UNDERSTAND MY TEXT IT IS BEACUASE IT IS LOOKSEYELY TRANSLAWTED FORM THE ANCEIAENT WAYS THAT MY FAATHAERS HAEGV PASDSED DOWN TO ME, FORA I SMAS THE LAST JAR`PO AMSTAWER AIVE TODAY.. THO IT IS ABELIEVE DTTHAT I CAN TEASCH THE WHITEAMSN TO LEARN JAR`PO AND PASS IT WLAONG THEORUGH THE AGEA, IT IS A VERY DIGIIFUCLT ART TO TEACHE, THEREFOR YOU WILL HAVETO STUDY THER SCRIETPIERS AS WELLA S THE WRITINGSAEFS.. ONLY CONOTUINEU ON IF OUD ARE. I FIRST WILL BEGIN WITH A VBFEIF BIOGRAPHPY OF JAR`PO.. BIOGRTAPHY IT WAS STARTED MAY YEAR AS AGO AS AN ART FOR THOSE WHO WERE TOO LAYZ TO ATAKC THEIRE ANENEOMEIS BY FORECE OR MONTHES AND EVEN EYRA S OF TRAINING.. INSTEAD THSI AMRT WILL DO ONE OF TWO THINGS 1. IT WIL TICKLE YOU RENEMIES INTO ANOYAN E AND THEY WILL LEAVE 2. IT WILL ANNOY YOIU RENEMEISL TO THE POINT THAT THEY AFAL ASLOOEEP.. MANY THHNOUGHT THIS WAS MOT PSOSIBLE, HOWEVER THROUGHT HIS ANCIENT ART FORM, THAT CHUCK NORRIS HAS NO FUCKING CLUE BAOBUT, IT CAN BE DONE.. THEREFORE, IN THE DARKEST HOURS OF OUR RACE, OUR ANCESTERS CREATED THSI FORM OF ARTS INM PORDER TO FEND OFF TTHE ENEMIENS AND SAVE THE VILLAGE SO WE COOULD GROW MORE CRACK AND WEED IN ORDER TO FEEDD OUR CHILDRESN.. THE GIRST JAR`PO MASTER WAS A AMANMAW ANEMED QHFDAWE678F6AWEHCAWOD7F6QW IU6R9 WQIUR 987QW WQWQWERHQW IUQWER0.. THOUGH NOBOBYD COULD EVER PROCONOHCNE HIS NAME, IT WAS BELIEVED THAT HIS AWESOM PWOER OCULD NEVER BE SXURPASSED.. HE WORKED DAY DAND NIGHT, WRITING THE SCRIPTIUESR, AND DIAGRAMS THAT YOU WILL SEE IN THIS AMAZING ON LINE SCRIPTURES. HE ALSO SPENT MANY HOUR SSSTUDYING MANY OTHE RFORMASS OF MARTAL ARTS AND NINJA STYLES OF THE SOROOTS.. ONE DAYH HIS STUPDIES CAME TO THE TESE WHEN OUR VILLAGE WAS INVADED BY A LARGE BEFVVY OF 'THE MAN'.. WE FAUGHT DATY AND NIGHT..A ND NIGHT AND DAY.. AND DAY AND NIGHT.. AND NIDGHT AND DAY.. AND THEN THROUGH SWINTER.. HOWEVBER, THE MORE WE FAUGHT, THE OMRES WE SEEMED TO LOSE.. THEN K HLEHFLKJAEHF AE98WE7623649873648 FALKWEFAWEFQWJEF CAME TO US ONE NIGHT AND SHOWED US THE GREAT WASY OF JAR`PO.. THJE NEXT EDATY WE WALKED OUT ONTO THE BATTLE FEIELD FIEEELING CONFIDENT... HOWEVER ALL BUT 2 OF US WERE SHOT IN THE HEAD.. IT WAS A GREAT DAY FOR US!@#!#!@$... THOS E2 WERE ABLE TO REPORDUCE MAKING A LARGE FLOCK OF RETARDS, WHO KNEW JAR`PO.. AFTRE ALL TAHT, AND MANY MEAHY YEARS OF DEATH, AND RETARDATION, I AM THE LAST LIVING AMSTER OF JAR`PO.. MYU NAME YOU MAY ASK?#q I AM PHIL TOTORO.. THE ONLY MJARPO LAMASTER TO REAMIN LIVING TODAY.. THEREFOR I FEEL IT IS MY DUTY TO PASSO N THE AMNCIENT ART OF JAR`PO TO THE NATIONS IN HOESP THAT I TWILL LIVEON. BRIENF OVERVIEW HERE SI A SNORT SUMMURY OF JAR`PO.. IF YOU DO NOT UNDERSTAND IT, YOU CAN E-MAIL ME AT FUCKOFF@IHATEYOUANDGODIEYOUSTUPID.SLUT.. JARPO CONSISTS OF MANY POKES AND PRODS.. THE ART WONT' SUE MUCH ENERTYA ND CNA BE DONE BY A 5 YERA OLD AS WELL AS A 90817489149871634861329462918374126487234 YEAR OLD (TAHT'S REALLY FUACKEND OLD).. IN JAR`PO THERE ARE AA FEW DIFFERENT CLASSES THAT DFEINE YOUR STRETNGTH, SPEED, AND DDETERMINATION.. AT THE TOP OF TALL THES SE CLASSES IS 'GRAND MASTER'.. AND AT THE BOTTEN THERE SI 'PURPLE BETL'.. IT TAKESA MANY YEAR S TO OBTAION THE POWER OF A GRAND MASTER, HOWEVER ONCE IT HAS BEEN OBTAINE, YOUR POWER WILL BE SUTBSTANTIAL TO TTAKE ON ANY FORCE IN THE WORKD, EVEN THE POWERFUL SQUIRRLE.. WHICH IS THE SYMBOL OF OUR POWER.. THE SQUILLREL IS QUITE PSOSIBLY THE MOST POWERFUL OF THE JARPPO MASTERS BEFCAUSE OF IT'S SOFT FUR AND BUSBY TAIL.. IT SIMPLY HAS TPO SHOW THE ENEMY IT'S TIAL T\AND THE ENEMYU IS DISABLED UNTIL THE DQUILLRE CAN KILL THE ALL USING JAR`PO..AFTER IT HAS KILEED THEMN ALL, IT WILL. COMTINUE TO EAT THEIR BODIES, AND THEN EAT THEIR SOULS, THEN EAT THEIR SHIT, SHITTING IT OUT AND MAKING THEIR MOUTS EAT THISR SHIT, THEN EATING THEIR MOUTHS THAT JUST ATE THE SHIT TAHT THEY JUST SHIT OUT.. AFTER THEY DID SO, THEIR ENEIMIES WILL NO LONBER BE ALIVE, ADN THEY WILL BE WFILLED WITH THE SHIT OF THEIR SNANCESTERS... BAKC TO THE AMANY LEVERLS OF JAR`PO.. FAS IAS SAILD BEFORE, THE TOP ARTYIST OF JARPO, IS KNOWNS ASA THE 'GRAND MASTER'.. HER EI SA LISTING FO THE ROTHER LEVELS.. 1. GRAND MASTER 2. SQUIRRLE 3. ORAMNGE BELT 4. FLOURSENT BROWN BELT 5. CARROT 6. BRUSSLE SPROUTS 7. TACO 8. NEW CAR 9. PURPLE BELT 10. 17 11. PURPLE BELT 12. WARLURS 13. PURPLE BELT WITH PURPLE STRPE 14. PURPLE BELT THE WAY YOU MAY ADNVANCE THROUGH THE BELSTS IS TO PROVBE YOUSRSELF IN A NUMBER OF SKILZ AND TALENRTS THAT HAVE BEEN PASSED DWONT HTORUHG THE AGES BY THE MASTE3R5W.. IT WILL LATER BE EXPLAINED HOW TO ADNVACE, BUT NWO BACK TO THE OVERVIEW.. AFTER LEANRING ALL THE SECRESTS AND POLKING AND PRODDING, YOU WILL BE UNSSTOPPBALE!@#)*^!2? WHY YOU MAY ASK?!@ DON'F CUKFINS ASK ME, ID ON'T KNOW WHAT YOU'RE TALKIDNG ABOUT.. I AM ONLY THE LAST MASTERS AS YOU KNOW,, HOW BET OFF MY LAWN1(*q@$#, WAIT NO, COME BACK.. SUPAR AMAZING NINJA TSETING THE TESTING IS DONE IN A VERY DIFIFCULAT WAY OF TESTSE AND TESTSINS.. THE DIFFERENCE IS THAT ETSTS ARE GTESTS OF THE MIDN DAND THE OTHER SI SINSMOSY A TEST OF THE BODEY SOULL SIPIROT AND ABILITY TO TRTANSLETATE THE AMERICAN DOLLAR IN THE THE FCHINESSE YET ATHEN BACK TO THE AMREICAN DOLLAR BUT NTO BEFIRE SHIFTIG TI INTOT HE CANADIAN FRANK.. BELOW ARE EXPALAINED ALL OF TEH ETSET NEEDERD IN OR DER TO MOVE UP IN THE BETL, STARTING WTH ADCANVCING FROM THE BOTTEM TO THE TOTP PURPLE BELT IN OR DER TO ACHIEVE THE STATSU OF THE PURPLE BELT,YOU MUYST FIRST PASAS A TEST OF WITSS. THSI TEST INVOLVES FINDING YOUR PANTS, TAKING THEM OFF, ATHEN PUTTINT HTHEN BACK ON AGAIN. THE SECOND APRT OF THIS TEST NVOVLES DRIVING TOI YOUR LOCAL JARPO TRAINING FACILITYT WHICH MAY BE DOMSEHWAT FIDIFUFKCLT SINCE THERE REALLY IS NO JARPO TARAINING FACILIYT, INSTAD IT IS ONLY A N OUTHOUSE ON 3RD AN D MIAN WHERE A BUM LIVES.. THIS WBUHN WILL GIVE YOU DIRECTIONS TO THE SERCRTET NINJA HEADQURATSRS WHERE YOU MUST GO AN DSAY THE SERCERE PASSWORD.. I FYOU GUESS THE CORECT PASSOWRD THE NINJA WILL LET YOU PAST THE DOORS, HOWEFVER I FYOU GETS THE WRONG PASSOWRD, YOU WILL BE KILLED IN THE MOST PAINFUL WA YOU CAN IMAGINE, AND EXPLAIN TO THE NINJA. PIURPLE BELT WITH PURLE STRIPE VERY FEW PEOPL EACTUALLY MAKE IT TO THIS STEP BECAYSE THEY ARE KILLED BY THE HARMFUL AND DEADLY NINJAS AWIATITNG AT THE DOOR OF THE SECRET CAMP.. HOWEVER T SSUCESSUFLLY ACHIEVE THIS STEP, YOU MUST THEN LEAVE THE NINJA CAMP, AND ON 9YOUR WAY OIUT, KICK A NINJA IN THE WEINER.. IF YOU SURVIVE TGHE WEINRERKR KICK OF TH ENINIJA, YOURTASK IS TO GO TO THE LOCALS STOARE AND FIND AN ELDERLY WOMAN NAMED IELELENE, SHE WAS MARREID TO THIS OLD FUCK WHO USED TO KNOW WHERE I KEPT MY SUNGLASSES BUT SHE WON'T GIVE GTEM BACK, SO I WNAT TOYOU TO GO AN DKICK HER OLD FUCKING ASSHOLE UNTKIL SHE GIVESM E BACN MY SUNGLASSESS CUZ TEHY AQER WERVERY NEAT AND THEY AWER PASESED DOWN TO ME FROM THE ANCIENTS WHO ARE OLD AND WHAT NOT AND HAVG MEANY SUNGLESSASSES WALRUS THIS IWLL BE YOUR FIRST BI GT ANDVANCE INTO THE WORLD OF JARPO.. HOWEVER DIFFICUTL THE IPREVIOSU TASKS WERE, THEY ONLY GET HARDERF FROIKME HERE. ACQUIRING THE QWQRLURS BELT IS VERY DIFFICULT BECAUSE TO DO SO YOU MUST FITS TDICSCVOVER A NEW WORLD, THEN ON THAT WORLD, SIDVAONVER A WAY TOI MAKE CURRENCY, CREATING THE CURRENCY IN MY IMAGE, AFTER THIS YOU MUST COME BACK TO THIS W2ORLD AND EXPLAIN TO US ALL ABOUT YOUR STRANGE NEW WORLD, AND HOW I IICKED YOU OFF O FMY LAWYN.. GET OFF MY LAWN FUCKER !@#$!@ WAIT COME BACK ONTO MY ALWN I'M TNO T DONEY ET.. ONCE YOIUR CURRENCTY RAKES OVER THE WORLD, A GIANT WALRUS OF KNOWELDGE WILL COME AND LAND ON YORU FACE, TELL ING YOU THAT HYYOU HAVE ANDVANCED TO WARLURS LEVEK, AND HOW TO GET THE PWOERUPS AND WIN THE GAME.. THEN YOU CAN WEAR THE WASLUR AS A BELT.. IF HE DIES, THEN A INJA WILL COME AND KILL Y OU AV ERY PAINFUL DANGTEATH..